Managing Curly/Mixed Hair - Part 1 - Washing

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

My daughter, Aaliyah (a LEE yah) is mixed, her dad is African-American and I, her mother, am Puerto Rican, Irish, and Polish. She was born with straight hair but after her first birthday, Aaliyah's hair started to get curly. I didn't need much to tame her curls for the first few years of her life. All I used was a spray gel and that seemed to get the job done. When Aaliyah was about 3 1/2, her hair started to get much thicker and the spray gel just wasn't working anymore and I DREADED doing her hair.

Growing up I always wished I had curly hair but now that I had I daughter with curly hair, I was glad it was only one of us. She started to hate getting her hair done because there were so many knots and it would take forever to do. It was just something we all had to suck up because who wants their kid walking around with messy hair.

There had to be a solution..

I found out about Shea Moisture products and different techniques on styling curly hair. Yes, the products are a little bit pricey, but for what I was going through, it seemed well worth it. Each week I picked up a new bottle from the Shea Moisture line until I had everything I needed.

All I can say is what a difference. Now that I have the right tools and more knowledge about curly hair, we both no longer dread doing her hair. It's much easier and less painful for her. She no longer cries when I do her hair. I want my daughter to appreciate her curls. I don't want her to be one of those girls with beautiful curls that no one know's of because she's constantly using a flat iron to hide or control her hair.

I will be doing a series of posts/videos on how I do her hair. (Washing and Styling) So check back for more details!


I wash Aaliyah's with an actual shampoo every two weeks and co-wash every few days.. Depends on what I've done to her hair that week or how her hair looks. (Everyone is different, do what works for you. It takes time to figure this out)  She's in school and plays outside so I do wash her hair more often than the people with curly hair do. After washing, I apply a leave conditioner in her hair and do not rinse it out. It helps keep her hair moisturized and makes combing her hair easier. Immediately after showering I comb her hair. I never attempt to do her hair dry.


  • Limit the number of times you wash your hair. Once every few weeks works. Washing your hair often can be very drying.
  • Use a good clarifying shampoo - sulfate free
  • Condition often and be sure to coat every strand
  • Leave condition in, don't rinse out.
  • Cold water is better with any type of hair. Warm water creates frizz.
  • Use a microfiber towel or an old t-shirt to dry hair to reduce frizz.
  • Never use a regular brush for curly hair. Use a comb
  • Co-wash in between shampooing. Co-washing is short for conditioning washing. You're washing your hair with only conditioner and not shampoo. This helps prevent over drying and keeping your hair moisturized.

Shea Moisture - Coconut and Hibiscus Shampoo
Shea Moisture - Raw Shea Butter Restorative Conditioner (I wish I could find the Coconut and Hibiscus Conditioner but it seems to be hard to find in South Jersey.  I've seen it once at Target)
Kinky Curly Knot Today - Detangler
Wide Tooth Comb (beauty supply store)
Microfiber Towel

Products a little bit pricer but I have had these products in my house for over 7 months now and there's still plenty left. Limiting shampooing to prevent drying out curls also helps save product so you won't find yourself going to the store as often. . Also I buy Shea Moisture at CVS where I can use my ExtraCare Bucks (similar to coupons) or Amazon (usually cheaper than stores).

About Shea Moisture:
No Sulfates
No Parabans
No Phthalates
No Paraffin
No Gluten
No Propylene Glycol
No Mineral Oil
No Synthetic Fragrance
No Synthetic Color
No Animal Testing

Stores that sell Shea Moisture: Target, Ulta, CVS, and Amazon.

Remember mixed kids are all unique and different in their own way!



  1. I am mixed and have been using Shea Moisture's products (specifically the leave in conditioner and curl enhancer) and can totally vouch for how well they work! Definitely the best product I've used to keep my hair curly and not frizzy!

  2. I noticed that you use a normal conditioner and leave it in, not the "leave-in' that ok? So any conditioner can be left without rinsing even if the instructions on it says to rinse?

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